Eye-contact is one of my favourite things. I think it tells you a lot about someone, especially in a romantic sense. The buzz of looking at someone across the road, exchanging flirty glances, then one of you gets more embarrassed than the other, looks away and the spell is broken. But before you know it, you’ve swapped numbers and are in a taxi on the way to your first date. With some people you have that immediate connection, with others you don’t, that’s why it is one of the most exciting feelings.
So, where does it all go wrong? A question frequently asked by women trying to understand a man’s logic. Is it mind games? Or is he genuinely not interested in you? Which, is always hard to stomach.
Where do you go from here then, you’ve had what you thought were a brilliant few dates, michelin star restaurants, countless cocktails, you’ve talked about in-depth and personal things, laughed and joked, shared a number of texts and phone-calls then, BAM. He’s no longer calling you, he’s no longer texting you, he’s appears no longer to be interested. Now, I KNOW questions are going round in your mind such as – ‘What did I do wrong?‘ ‘Was it something I said?‘ The answer to those questions, NO, NOTHING. Do not convince yourself that it was you. Even though you feel like the common dominator. There’s only one thing left to do in these kind of situations, call your best friends and go out boozing until you forget your own name. But PLEASE, please, whatever you do, do NOT drunk text or call him. It will only end in tears, probably yours. He’ll either be thinking you’re more of a fruit loop than originally thought, or he’ll just outright reject you and not respond, I’m not sure which is worse. But you’ll be left feeling sh*t and nursing a hangover. A lethal cocktail.
Take control of yourself, you don’t need someone to cook you dinner, play with your hair and tell you you’re pretty. It’s his loss and clearly his insecurity, do you honestly want someone that flaky and full of bullsh*t in your life? No. So, maybe it was a lucky escape. However, I know you’re probably feeling deflated at the moment. But it’s all about learning what you want and what you don’t want from a relationship. As I mentioned in my Fixing a Broken Heart. Women always assume a man has to be in control of what the relationship is going to be, and if it’s not what YOU want then why on earth are you putting up with it? I hate to sound cliché but there are PLENTY of other gorgeous men out there waiting to take you on a date. Don’t settle. If you’re feeling particularly soft and don’t want to let this go yet, maybe set him a deadline. He has until this date, this time, and if he hasn’t contacted me by then, then I’m deleting his number. Or I’m going to play ridiculously hard to get. See if he’s up for the challenge.
But maybe, he’s just not that into you…
What have you learnt from this?
1. Don’t be so available, you have a life and don’t need to fit into his schedule. If he doesn’t stick around and want to wait for you, then that tells you everything you need to know.
2. Nearly all men, tell women exactly what they want to hear. One of my favourite quotes – ‘Men fall in love with what they see, women fall in love with what they hear. That’s why women wear makeup and men lie.’
3. Enjoy yourself, go and do whatever you want to. Nothing is more attractive then someone who is happy within their own skin.
4. Work out what you want, and try to stick to it. I know that doesn’t necessarily work if you fall madly in love with someone, when all you were looking for was a fling. But sometimes going with an outline helps you decide what you’re willing to put up with.
Exams are fast approaching, so I’m off to focus on some revision and going for a run to clear my head. As I always say, exercise is great at making you feeling better. I hope my advice helped a little! Who needs a man when you have best friends and a puppy dog who utterly adore you.
Hope you all have a good rest of the week.