This is a different kind of goodbye…

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2015 has already been, well, I’ve been sat here for a good five minutes trying to think of a word to use and all I can come up with is unpredictable.

There has been tears, tantrums and so much laughter all within a short space of time. The biggest bombshell was saying goodbye to someone who has been such a large part of my life for a long time. As you get older I think goodbyes become more difficult and more common. This goodbye was even more emotional than I expected as there was and is so much history, so much emotion, so many unresolved issues, which is a large part of the reason why I wanted to go. I needed and wanted to say my last few thoughts and feelings on our colourful past together. That is the thing with saying goodbye, people have the permission to grow into their own skin without you, which is a very strange feeling. It makes you want to scream, “No, you can’t carry on without me, please! Don’t go!” But as we know, that’s incredibly selfish. You can’t keep people, they’re not collectables.

Why is it goodbyes seem so romantic and glamorous on the television? One of you won’t be able to let the other one go, so you’ll go to the airport, bunch of flowers in hand, running through the departure gates then you’ll catch each other’s eyes. Burst into tears, embrace and live happily ever after. A Ross and Rachel type scenario. Hmmm, yeah. Likely.

Then the questions popped into my head, can you forgive someone for all the past events that happened if you can’t forget? Can you forgive them
even when they’re leaving? If you were to ask me this a year, a month ago even, I wouldn’t have let you finish the sentence without biting your arm off with a loud and forceful, NO. However, I have now changed my mind. Sometimes it’s the closure you need, for the both of you.

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate, not that I’m even 100% sure that I believe in fate, but you get the idea. If we never veered or challenged our path, we may not fall in love again, have children or even be who we are today, or in the future. I do believe everything happens for a reason, so yes, maybe that is fate? Seasons change, so do cities, so do your memories. People come into your life and some people leave. But I take great comfort in the fact that the ones you love or loved will always leave a mark on your heart; and you will leave a mark on them too. If you’re lucky these loved ones are only a plane ride, text message, Skype, or telephone call away. And if they’re not, there’s usually a good reason for it. Life is a series of letting going moments. You have to start somewhere.

Goodbyes don’t have to mean forever. But that is down to you two.

I still hate goodbyes.

Have you ever had a horrible goodbye? Who were they with?

Take care,

B x

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