It’s that time of the year again!

2014 has been one of the most interesting, stressful and exciting years so far. It’s taught me a lot, some good, some bad. But I thought I’d share with you guys what I’ve learnt.

1. You can’t plan your future, it’s really not that simple. No matter how much you try to create a schedule or time frame, life doesn’t work that way. ‘Next summer I’m going to go to W with X, while still being best friends with Y, oh and I’m going to get a job at Z.’ Everyone is hopeful and don’t get me wrong I’d love nothing more than to have a plan that I can stick to. However, 2014 has made me realise life goes on, yes something may not be what you necessarily wanted. But it has encouraged me to think on my feet and be excited for the future, because I know it’s going to be great. Whatever happens.

2. Make peace with the past. If you don’t it’ll be like an anchor and just bring you down. Don’t let it disturb your present or your future. Time is the best healer, honestly.

3. Friends come and go. But it is the people that are there for you day in and day out that are going to be there long term. Make sure you appreciate them, tell them you love them, thank them, there are thousands of ways to tell and show someone you love them.

4. Being a best friend is one of the most wonderful things in the world. I don’t think that needs anymore explanation.

5. Being an aunty is SO underrated. I love my family, as dysfunctional as they are, I wouldn’t change them for the world.

6. I love travelling and need to do more of it. New York was dreamy, it has spurred on my love of cities.

7. Write a journal, or carry around a notebook. I have one in my bag at all times, if I hear a funny quote or a see a restaurant I want to visit at a later date I write it all down. It’s a nice memo if nothing else.

8. Indulge. Maybe I do this a little too much with clothes and shoes, but you earned it!

9. One text goes a long way. Whether it’s rekindling a relationship, friendship or telling someone you’re there for them. It makes a big difference.

10. Don’t waste time reading rubbish books just to say you’ve read it.

I wish you all a very happy New Year, and I hope you bring in 2015 as you mean to go on. Are you doing anything special?

Take care,

B x

Don’t Search So Hard For Happiness…

On this rainy and dare I say, wintery bank holiday Monday, I have been thinking about rather morbid and mundane things. Dark I know! With the recent deaths of Lord Richard Attenborough and Robin Williams RIP, which I am so unbelievably sad about. Alongside reading my Zen Life book, I have been assessing my own life.

I always used to think that I’d live a short life. I could never imagine myself as a little old lady with silver hair and a companion in the shape of a small dog, I could barely imagine my wedding day, or the colour of my children’s hair. I think this is the main reason I thought I wouldn’t live to be a ripe old age, I’m not very good at envisioning my future. Or if I attempt to, I get into a blind panic as I mentioned in my previous post. I worry who will still be in my life, or who will be a distant memory of milestones in my life. People aren’t things, you can’t own or keep them. But then I remind myself, life is messy, it’s not meant to run smoothly that’s part of the thrill and excitement. Happiness is what matters and if you find it, hold onto it. It is rarely big, bold and boisterous. It is found in sunsets, kisses, bare feet and freckles on your nose. Laughable, but very true.

I know some of this is a pessimistic view on life, but I think death does that to people, makes you evaluate your own life. Your own wants and desires. But then again, you’re still human, we are all afraid of the unknown. So, in light of all this, I’ve compiled a bucket list. Thinks I hope to do before the age of 30, for those of you who know me, yes, I do have a complex about turning 30! Don’t ask me why! So, here goes…

1. Learn a language, so I can cope with having a conversation
2. Go to nearly every capital city in Europe
3. Stay in the Ice Hotel in Sweden
4. Get through all the films in ‘film club’
5. Go on a protest march for something I am passionate about
6. Get my motorbike license
7. Go to Ibiza on a mad holiday with all my closest friends
8. Go to Glastonbury
9. Hot air-balloon over somewhere beautiful
10. Visit Las Vegas and Los Angeles, more of America basically

Life is all about choosing, choose the things that matter, with the people that matter, because when it comes down to it. All you’ll be left with is the memories.

As an RIP to both the men that have recently died, my family and I are going to watch Mrs Doubtfire (one of my favourite films, ever) tonight and Gandhi another evening this week. Two extremely talented men!

Hope you’re having a lovely bank holiday, definitely a duvet day!

Take care,
B x

Age is just a number, right?

In just over three months I’ll be reaching one of the biggest age milestones, turning the exciting, yet daunting age of 21!!

When I think back to my sister turning 21, I remember thinking; she’s so together, so grown up, she’s really got her life in order, I can’t wait to be her age. But now that girl is me, I realise – it is not as black and white as that.
Another reason why I now seem to be getting myself into a blind panic about turning 21 is when I attended Smiths Lawn, last week. One of my best friends and I, went to watch our other best friend compete in a horse show consisting of – dressage, cross country and show jumping. He was astounding, placing second and fourth, without hardly breaking a sweat. He is so talented and I am so proud of him. Do you ever feel like everyone around you seems to be accomplishing so much? Then you look at yourself and feel a bit deflated. I know everyone tells you that you’ll find what you want to do in life when you least expect it. However, sometimes I wish I could just glance into my future and see where I’ll be in five years time.

Getting older made me think about all my first times, which I love reminiscing about. (Some obviously better than others!) My first bike ride, my first kiss, the first time I slept with someone, the first time I said ‘I love you’, my first day at sixth form… All those kind of things. You never forget or replace those first times and I like the fact that I am a feature in other people’s first times too. Sometime I wish I could go back and do those first times all over again, just to appreciate that it was the first of something.

The Sunday of summer is now here, also known as August. August usually feels like you are beginning to see the end of summer, which of course I’m quite bummed about. But you’ve still got four weeks to go, and a lot can happen in four weeks. Although, I am actually looking forward to going back to university, I need some solid structure in my life again.

How has your summer been? Accomplished much?

Take care,

B x

The Psychopath Test

I’m a book whore to put it nicely. I love books; small books, big books, old books, photography books, cooking books, second-hand books, poetry books, even the Bible, you name it, I have it or want it. I am terrible, I won’t even have finished one book, but I’ll have my next lined up. And probably the one after that.

I now have a kindle and although I feel guilty using it a lot of the time, it’s so handy. However, I don’t quite get the relationship with it which, you have with a proper book. You don’t get the feeling and smell of turning the pages, or the memories you conjure up when looking at it since you read it, like the sun and water damage it got from your summer holiday to Portugal three years ago. But don’t get me wrong, I’m growing to love my kindle.

My first book on the kindle was, The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson. I’m obsessed with the brain, I read a lot on psychology just for fun and due to my degree, so I thought I knew what to expect. Not at all. I’ve had a considerable number of people recommend the book to me over the years, but it always seemed to be one of those books that slips your mind to buy. I ended up downloading it by accident, as I bought it for one of my best friends for Christmas, and she thoroughly enjoyed it. So I thought I’d give it a go too.

I started reading in the bath, where I read the most – and it gripped me from the beginning. I imagined it was going to be more factual but it was more of a story about Jon and his experiences of psychopaths first hand. It was a brilliant insight into the mind and down right scary to think how many people are probably psychopaths. I even felt myself think, ‘I do that’ which is never good. The book is well written, he’s a wonderful story teller and it held my attention all the way through, I wanted to keep reading and find out more. Overall, a great read I can completely understand why so many people recommended it to me. The next book I’m going to start is My James: The Heartrending Story of James Bulger, by his father, which is going to be harrowing. I’ll write a review of that when I finish it.

My best friend came home from Nottingham this weekend, was so lovely to see her. Sometimes you don’t realise how much you miss someone until you see them again. But university seems to be flying bye, I break up in just under a month, which means second year is basically over, apart from exams. But if I’m honest, I cannot wait to graduate now, I’m bored of learning and exams. I know, I know, I shouldn’t wish my life away, but still. Nonetheless, that means I’ll have to get a job. I’ve started looking at graduate programmes already, which is really exciting. Fingers crossed!

I hope you guys had a great weekend and that you caught a glimpse of the sun for the day on Saturday.

Take care,

B x

PS. If you’re into psychopath and sociopath things, try the Channel Four test and watch some of their documentaries. They’re so interesting.