Sugar & Spice & All Things Nice!

I always re-read my previous post before writing my new post. I like to think what was happening in my life when I wrote it, where I wrote it, what time of the day etc. and gosh, SO much has changed since my last post. I love that about life, one minute something is so important to you, the next you can barely remember what you were fretting about. However, bittersweet that may be.

Firstly, I’m an Auntie to a beautiful bundle of glitter and fairy dust. She is perfect and delicious, all I want to do is maul her face with kisses all day long. Although, she is the biggest time waster and I photograph her like she’s going out of fashion. Yes, I’m turning into one of those annoying people who wants to show everyone and anyone how cute my niece is. The storage on my phone is running out swiftly! But she’s so worth it. Honestly.

Secondly, I’m back at university for my last, first semester. My dissertation is in full swing and third year is incredible stressful already, but this is what I expected.

There have been so many things over the past two months that I’ve been meaning to blog, from dinners at yummy restaurants such as, The Wolseley, The Caviar House, Benito’s Hat and so on, to my weekend at LFW with my best friend seeing KTZ! I’ve been a rubbish blogger and promise to get better. Starting with my review of Gone Girl, which I’m aiming to finish by Friday as I’m desperate to see the film. Have any of you seen it or read the book? I’ve heard the film is meant to be fantastic.

I hope you’re all well and enjoyed the end of the summer. All those starting their dissertation, good luck! All those who have finished their dissertation or didn’t do one, I’m green with envy.

Take care,
B x

Maybe, he’s just not that into you…

Eye-contact is one of my favourite things. I think it tells you a lot about someone, especially in a romantic sense. The buzz of looking at someone across the road, exchanging flirty glances, then one of you gets more embarrassed than the other, looks away and the spell is broken. But before you know it, you’ve swapped numbers and are in a taxi on the way to your first date. With some people you have that immediate connection, with others you don’t, that’s why it is one of the most exciting feelings.

So, where does it all go wrong? A question frequently asked by women trying to understand a man’s logic. Is it mind games? Or is he genuinely not interested in you? Which, is always hard to stomach.

Where do you go from here then, you’ve had what you thought were a brilliant few dates, michelin star restaurants, countless cocktails, you’ve talked about in-depth and personal things, laughed and joked, shared a number of texts and phone-calls then, BAM. He’s no longer calling you, he’s no longer texting you, he’s appears no longer to be interested. Now, I KNOW questions are going round in your mind such as – ‘What did I do wrong?‘ ‘Was it something I said?‘ The answer to those questions, NO, NOTHING. Do not convince yourself that it was you. Even though you feel like the common dominator. There’s only one thing left to do in these kind of situations, call your best friends and go out boozing until you forget your own name. But PLEASE, please, whatever you do, do NOT drunk text or call him. It will only end in tears, probably yours. He’ll either be thinking you’re more of a fruit loop than originally thought, or he’ll just outright reject you and not respond, I’m not sure which is worse. But you’ll be left feeling sh*t and nursing a hangover. A lethal cocktail.

Take control of yourself, you don’t need someone to cook you dinner, play with your hair and tell you you’re pretty. It’s his loss and clearly his insecurity, do you honestly want someone that flaky and full of bullsh*t in your life? No. So, maybe it was a lucky escape. However, I know you’re probably feeling deflated at the moment. But it’s all about learning what you want and what you don’t want from a relationship. As I mentioned in my Fixing a Broken Heart. Women always assume a man has to be in control of what the relationship is going to be, and if it’s not what YOU want then why on earth are you putting up with it? I hate to sound cliché but there are PLENTY of other gorgeous men out there waiting to take you on a date. Don’t settle. If you’re feeling particularly soft and don’t want to let this go yet, maybe set him a deadline. He has until this date, this time, and if he hasn’t contacted me by then, then I’m deleting his number. Or I’m going to play ridiculously hard to get. See if he’s up for the challenge.

But maybe, he’s just not that into you…

What have you learnt from this?

1. Don’t be so available, you have a life and don’t need to fit into his schedule. If he doesn’t stick around and want to wait for you, then that tells you everything you need to know.

2. Nearly all men, tell women exactly what they want to hear. One of my favourite quotes – ‘Men fall in love with what they see, women fall in love with what they hear. That’s why women wear makeup and men lie.’ 

3. Enjoy yourself, go and do whatever you want to. Nothing is more attractive then someone who is happy within their own skin.

4. Work out what you want, and try to stick to it. I know that doesn’t necessarily work if you fall madly in love with someone, when all you were looking for was a fling. But sometimes going with an outline helps you decide what you’re willing to put up with.

Image

Image

Image

Exams are fast approaching, so I’m off to focus on some revision and going for a run to clear my head. As I always say, exercise is great at making you feeling better. I hope my advice helped a little! Who needs a man when you have best friends and a puppy dog who utterly adore you.

Hope you all have a good rest of the week.

Take care,

B x

Fixing a Broken Heart

This post I thought I would write something more personal than usual, mainly due to the fact that a blog is basically an online diary and I would definitely write this in a diary.

Something we’ve all been through, or are going to go through, sadly. Whether it be with friendships or relationships. Yep, you guessed it, heartbreak. I shan’t give you guys a synopsis of my situation, because it’s immaterial, but I will tell you he was such a huge part of my life and my family’s lives, for nearly three years. Oh, and he ended everything with me, not once, but twice.

So, I thought I’d use this post to give myself and any of you who have faced or who are facing heartbreak some support, advice and home truths. Here goes…

Firstly, he knows what he did is wrong. When he wakes up in the morning and brushes his teeth and looks in the mirror he knows that you didn’t deserve that. I know you probably feel humiliated and led on, things going round your head like ‘How could I have been so stupid?’ ‘Was our whole relationship a lie?’ ‘Was that genuine?’ but he is the one in the wrong.

Secondly, he won’t replace you. In the words of Beyoncé, you’re irreplaceable. He’ll be texting another girl, filling the gaps of when he texted you, to now texting her. But you’ll cross his mind, he’ll wonder if you’re texting someone new, or if you’ve been thinking about him or if it’s making you jealous. He’ll think about you every time he puts his slippers on that you bought him, or that jumper you chose him last Christmas and your perfume will forever be imprinted on his brain.

Thirdly, write in drafts or notes exactly what you wish to send him. Whether you send it or not is up to you (be prepared for the reply though.) Write down how he made you feel, what you wanted from him, how sad, upset, angry you are. Everything! I guarantee it’ll make you feel a tad better, if not extremely emotional. Let them out.

Fourthly, it’s okay to cry. I’ve cried every single day since it all happened. But it helps getting out of bed, going to work, going to university, seeing friends etc. Distractions are key.

Fifthly, stop stalking his Facebook, Instagram, Twitter account. It does nothing but cause you pain, so much easier said than done, believe me, I know. Realise that he’s not going to turn up outside your work with a bunch of flowers and a card apologising. No, he isn’t going to text you, it’s your best friend/mother, stop checking your phone every ten minutes. It’s a form of self-harm, stop it now.

Sixthly, don’t underestimate that he feels nothing. You’ve been together and experienced things together that he won’t forget. He might be trying to put those memories on hold, or distracting himself. But when he comes in from work, or in from a night out, when he lays in bed and has his own thoughts, he’ll be reflecting.

Seventhly, don’t jump into anything with anyone else. You will ultimately feel 100 times worse. You need to heal first.

Eighthly, take time to get back to the ‘old’ you and re-find what you like, don’t like. What you are prepared to put up with in a relationship and not.

Ninthly, she will never be you. I know I’ve said that already basically in number two, but I want to stress this point.

Tenthly, time is a healer. There is no rush, don’t pressurise yourself to be ‘fine’ you don’t need to pretend all the time. We’ve all been there, or are going to be there.

These are all so much easier said than done, but don’t let him ruin you. You will find a man who appreciates you, and who deserves you. Be positive! You’re going to be okay, I promise.

Even though I’ve given this advice, I don’t necessarily believe my ex is feeling any of those things. I think he’s probably just erased me from his life, and I don’t think he’s missing me at all. But I’m sure in your cases, your men or women are.

Let me know any of your relationship woes, or your dilemmas, how you coped, anything.

Also, exercise really helps. Releasing those happy endorphins!

Take care,

B x

What goes around, comes around

Coming to the end of the year always presents reflection, some good reflection and some bad. The same with everything, 2013 has been a love/hate year. From getting through my first year of university, re-finding friendships, becoming even closer with my best friends to breakups, fall outs and struggling to pass assignments. But hey, a lot happens in 12months.

Don’t you find it weird that life goes on and it feels like nothing is changing. Then when you look back on the year it is scary how different it was in comparison to the year before. I love how life does that. No matter what age you are you are always gaining life experiences, something is continuously changing, sounds so cliche but you develop so much within a year.

Last night we were sat around the dinning room table discussing the best moments for each person in 2013, with laughs, congratulations and reminiscing. As the wine carried on flowing we got to the deeper side of 2013, the worst part of the year. This made me think about karma, something I have repeatedly had faith in. My mother always says, ‘a situation will present itself‘ and yes, most of the time it does. It may not be a week, a month or a year after the event, but believe me, it does happen. It also may not be something you can necessarily see, it may not be that they become homeless or that their boyfriend dumps them. But you can guarantee that something will even out the balance. Being as impatient as I am, I’ve found this particularly hard to grasp.

I try to live by the quote, ‘treat those how you would like to be treated‘ – so, I am going to try and carry on this motto into 2014. I don’t want any negative karma, only positive karma please! I’ve got a few resolutions this year, to learn a language, be less sensitive (I’m a female!) and to go to the gym more regularly (I think that’s everyone’s resolution, a girl can hope) I have a good feeling about 2014. What are your resolutions?

NYE plans are still up in the air, it is possibly one of the most overrated nights ever. All you need is a few bottles of champagne, good food, good music and even better company.

Hope you all have a great start to 2014, start as you mean to go on!

Take care,

B x