Don’t Search So Hard For Happiness…

On this rainy and dare I say, wintery bank holiday Monday, I have been thinking about rather morbid and mundane things. Dark I know! With the recent deaths of Lord Richard Attenborough and Robin Williams RIP, which I am so unbelievably sad about. Alongside reading my Zen Life book, I have been assessing my own life.

I always used to think that I’d live a short life. I could never imagine myself as a little old lady with silver hair and a companion in the shape of a small dog, I could barely imagine my wedding day, or the colour of my children’s hair. I think this is the main reason I thought I wouldn’t live to be a ripe old age, I’m not very good at envisioning my future. Or if I attempt to, I get into a blind panic as I mentioned in my previous post. I worry who will still be in my life, or who will be a distant memory of milestones in my life. People aren’t things, you can’t own or keep them. But then I remind myself, life is messy, it’s not meant to run smoothly that’s part of the thrill and excitement. Happiness is what matters and if you find it, hold onto it. It is rarely big, bold and boisterous. It is found in sunsets, kisses, bare feet and freckles on your nose. Laughable, but very true.

I know some of this is a pessimistic view on life, but I think death does that to people, makes you evaluate your own life. Your own wants and desires. But then again, you’re still human, we are all afraid of the unknown. So, in light of all this, I’ve compiled a bucket list. Thinks I hope to do before the age of 30, for those of you who know me, yes, I do have a complex about turning 30! Don’t ask me why! So, here goes…

1. Learn a language, so I can cope with having a conversation
2. Go to nearly every capital city in Europe
3. Stay in the Ice Hotel in Sweden
4. Get through all the films in ‘film club’
5. Go on a protest march for something I am passionate about
6. Get my motorbike license
7. Go to Ibiza on a mad holiday with all my closest friends
8. Go to Glastonbury
9. Hot air-balloon over somewhere beautiful
10. Visit Las Vegas and Los Angeles, more of America basically

Life is all about choosing, choose the things that matter, with the people that matter, because when it comes down to it. All you’ll be left with is the memories.

As an RIP to both the men that have recently died, my family and I are going to watch Mrs Doubtfire (one of my favourite films, ever) tonight and Gandhi another evening this week. Two extremely talented men!




Hope you’re having a lovely bank holiday, definitely a duvet day!

Take care,
B x


The Leibster Award


Here as promised are my Leibster Award answers, which I am still over the moon that I’ve been nominated for. I’m in a bit of a pickle, as I don’t follow many blogs, which have less than 200 followers. Or the ones I do, have been nominated already for the award. However, I’ll keep an eye out for more up and coming blogs or if anyone has an recommended blogs, I’d love to read some. 

So, here are my questions from the lovely, Taken by the Lapels – 

  • How did you pick your blog’s name? 

It was a time consuming process, I wanted something catchy but something that also, described my blog. For anyone that knows me, knows I have an intimate relationship with cocktails, in particular a Grey Goose Le Fizz (I’ll do a post on it in the next few weeks) or a Cosmo. Yes, I am the fifth member of Sex in the City. Oh and my other weakness is fashion, having worked within retail since 16, I know my materials and styles, so what better way than combining them. Creating – cocktailsandchiffon, gotta love a bit of alliteration! 

  • What would your Superhero name be?

Tough one, probably something like – BatSpack, or Princess BeeS. My surname is very similar to Batman, so I feel like that would be my perfect Superhero name, even though it’s already taken. I also like the fact that Batman’s identity is a secret, he’s an understated Superhero, which is what I would be too!  

  • What’s your favorite TV show?

I’m a sucker for a documentary, our SkyPlanner is currently filled with 9/11 reports and Ross Kemp: Extreme Worlds. I also really like Channel Four and their programmes, like The Undateables and undercover stories. Oh and as I said earlier, Sex in the City is my all-time favourite sitcom as well as Friends. Why is it you can watch the same episode over, and over again?

  • What are three things on your bucket list?

1. To travel more, I think I neglect Europe a lot. So, to make a special effort to explore there more. 2. To learn another language. 3. To learn to ride a motorbike, a proper geared bike. 

  • Who is your favorite fictional character?

One of my favourite books is The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I read the book in a matter of days, because I got so attached to the character in it, Charlie. I was so upset when I finished the book, and cried like a baby at the end of the film too. I felt like I had lost a friend, I know that sounds so dramatic! But you become so involved with fictional characters, if you think about it – you go to bed with your book, have a bath with your book, take it on holiday, it takes your mind off of the seriousness of your life etc. No wonder people get depressed after finishing books! 

  • What is your most prized possession?

Either my blanket I’ve had since I was a little girl, you can never replace things like that. Or my B necklace, even though I don’t wear it as much now, I’ve been through so much when wearing that necklace. From big birthdays to first times to exams, that necklace has nearly always been present. I’m going to dig it out again! 

  • Describe yourself in three words.

Compassionate, fiery and sensitive. I know those words don’t necessarily fit together, which is why it sums me up quite well. 

  • What is your guiltiest pleasure?

Probably pop music, gotta love a bit of the Spice Girls, The BeeGees, The Beach Boys and S Club 7. Oh and reading trashy magazines, and thinking ‘OMG, I’m totally going to this diet and lose 12pounds in 3days…’ – not. 

  • What is your proudest accomplishment?

Being in love. I love, love. Hanging his name up in big, bright lights with a red carpet underfoot. Even though the heartache is diabolical, and you have constant thoughts like ‘What’s the point?’ ‘I never want to fall in love again!’ ‘Why?’ etc. The feeling of being in love is amazing, something nothing can compare to. I’m proud of myself that I have the ability to love someone, and that I fall in love so deeply that it consumes me. I think people underrate love. 

  • What’s your favorite post that you’ve written? (Link, please!)

Mmm, probably my Fixing a Broken Heart post. Just because I wrote that with such emotion and believe every word I was writing, I wanted to let people know that they’re not alone with the way they feel about being broken hearted. Even though you think it’s just you, and that the person who did the breaking up with you, is fine. But in actual fact they’re probably feeling sh*t too!

I’ve just got back from a gorgeous weekend away with my dysfunctional family in Somerset. It was lovely. So I shall be blogging all about it within the next few days. 

Take care,

B x

She just wanna run around the city and make memories

Hey guys,

It’s been such a hectic week and it’s only Thursday! So, I started back at university and it’s getting very serious already, always reassuring when your lecturer says that last year 17 students out of 65 failed this module! I can sense I’m gonna have to be studying and reading a lot more than last year, (only four weeks until my first assignment!!!) but if I’m honest that wasn’t much anyway. Apart from starting university I’ve been really ill too, have had tonsillitis and it’s now gone into a chest infection, no fun. But I’m feeling much better now, thank God for antibiotics.

I’ve also enrolled in a college near where I live to learn Sign Language, I already know it fluently as my twin brother is deaf. However, I don’t have an official qualification and as I learnt a lot of my signing up north where we used to live, some of the southern signs are different. My aim is to eventually get to a level 6 signer, so that I can be an official interpreter, it’s gonna be so difficult though, but I’m up for the challenge.

I really recommend taking up something new whether it be a language, exercise (my boxing, which was excellent I couldn’t move for a few days) or signing, I’ve decided to make a bucket list which I’ll publish in the next few days, you should make one too! What do you really want to do? Time goes too fast, so I’ve decided to try and do all the things I talk about wanting to do, but actually do them. I watched a film on the life of Gwen Araujo yesterday, which is a harrowing true story of her life and the obstacles she had to overcome, there wasn’t a dry eye in my lounge. The quote she always used to say was, “Life is what you make of it.” – I’m trying to live more with that attitude. Do you have any quotes that you live by? Or any stories that changed your opinion on life?

Off for a yummy curry tonight with my best friend and then the theatre tomorrow evening to see The Drowned Man – Punchdrunk so I’ll let you guys know what I thought about it. Have any of you seen it?

Take care.

B x