Everything happens for a reason, right?

“Everything happens for a reason” is one of the most overused phrases in the universe, I’m quite sure. 90% of the people that use it are women, 91% of them are saying it to one of their friends about a guy who has just screwed them over. And 99% of the time it’s being said over a bottle of sauvignon blanc. Am I right? Or am I right?

Yes, I know that’s a huge generalisation, but you get my point. I am kind of contradicting myself as in another one of my blog posts I did write that I believe everything happens for a reason. And I do still sort of agree with my statement. But why does it always seem to be women saying it to each other? The more I experience relationships whether they be my own or through friends or through earwigging females discussing their love lives, the more I realise there is a pattern emerging. So, do we just tell our friends things happen for a reason to make them feel better?  Does it actually make us feel better about ourselves? Do we actually believe what we’re saying?  Personally, I do think things have to fall apart or grow in order for you to see the light, whether it be good or bad. You can’t experience the good without the bad, so it’s the same sort of principle isn’t it? It does make me feel better about myself and usually my rejection by taking solace in the fact that better things are ahead, surely. But it doesn’t take away the what’s wrong with me? I have an excellent personality, why wouldn’t you want to be with me?, mind set.

Just last weekend I was sat in Bills waiting for one of my best friends to arrive for our brunch date, when I was listening to a group of girls discussing last week’s drama. James hadn’t called or messaged Emily back, but had been online on whatsapp and Facebook. Emily was clearly very upset at the fact he hadn’t contacted her. However, as one of her friends said, maybe he’s been busy, maybe he forgot he hadn’t replied, or maybe he’s just not into you? Her other friend came in with the classic line of – maybe it’s just not meant to be!?  I smiled to myself and had severe déjà vu, why are women so bad a letting go, but men seem to slip out the back door without even saying goodbye? Things aren’t meant to last forever, so maybe we invented this way of looking at life to help us let go of things, even if we’re not ready to let go. This notion doesn’t just apply to our love lives but also job opportunities and waiting to buy a top in the Zara sale; if it’s meant to be that blouse will still be there.

As my home girl, Carrie Bradshaw said – “Eventually all the pieces fall into place, until then laugh at the confusion, live for the moment me know everything happens for a reason.” 

So next time you feel rejected or disappointed about an outcome, remember you are the prize and everything is a lesson. In the meantime, pour yourself a large Hendrix and tonic and call your girlfriends to arrange a dinner date to mill over the situation.

On another note, I’ve finished university! I cannot believe it. The longest, yet shortest three years of my life. My dissertation goes in next week and then I’m officially a free woman, bar one assignment in for the end of May. On to the next chapter, I wonder what’s in store…

I hope you’re well and have been enjoying the glorious springtime sunshine. I love springtime!

Take care,

B x

 

 

 

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Don’t Search So Hard For Happiness…

On this rainy and dare I say, wintery bank holiday Monday, I have been thinking about rather morbid and mundane things. Dark I know! With the recent deaths of Lord Richard Attenborough and Robin Williams RIP, which I am so unbelievably sad about. Alongside reading my Zen Life book, I have been assessing my own life.

I always used to think that I’d live a short life. I could never imagine myself as a little old lady with silver hair and a companion in the shape of a small dog, I could barely imagine my wedding day, or the colour of my children’s hair. I think this is the main reason I thought I wouldn’t live to be a ripe old age, I’m not very good at envisioning my future. Or if I attempt to, I get into a blind panic as I mentioned in my previous post. I worry who will still be in my life, or who will be a distant memory of milestones in my life. People aren’t things, you can’t own or keep them. But then I remind myself, life is messy, it’s not meant to run smoothly that’s part of the thrill and excitement. Happiness is what matters and if you find it, hold onto it. It is rarely big, bold and boisterous. It is found in sunsets, kisses, bare feet and freckles on your nose. Laughable, but very true.

I know some of this is a pessimistic view on life, but I think death does that to people, makes you evaluate your own life. Your own wants and desires. But then again, you’re still human, we are all afraid of the unknown. So, in light of all this, I’ve compiled a bucket list. Thinks I hope to do before the age of 30, for those of you who know me, yes, I do have a complex about turning 30! Don’t ask me why! So, here goes…

1. Learn a language, so I can cope with having a conversation
2. Go to nearly every capital city in Europe
3. Stay in the Ice Hotel in Sweden
4. Get through all the films in ‘film club’
5. Go on a protest march for something I am passionate about
6. Get my motorbike license
7. Go to Ibiza on a mad holiday with all my closest friends
8. Go to Glastonbury
9. Hot air-balloon over somewhere beautiful
10. Visit Las Vegas and Los Angeles, more of America basically

Life is all about choosing, choose the things that matter, with the people that matter, because when it comes down to it. All you’ll be left with is the memories.

As an RIP to both the men that have recently died, my family and I are going to watch Mrs Doubtfire (one of my favourite films, ever) tonight and Gandhi another evening this week. Two extremely talented men!

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Hope you’re having a lovely bank holiday, definitely a duvet day!

Take care,
B x

Age is just a number, right?

In just over three months I’ll be reaching one of the biggest age milestones, turning the exciting, yet daunting age of 21!!

When I think back to my sister turning 21, I remember thinking; she’s so together, so grown up, she’s really got her life in order, I can’t wait to be her age. But now that girl is me, I realise – it is not as black and white as that.
Another reason why I now seem to be getting myself into a blind panic about turning 21 is when I attended Smiths Lawn, last week. One of my best friends and I, went to watch our other best friend compete in a horse show consisting of – dressage, cross country and show jumping. He was astounding, placing second and fourth, without hardly breaking a sweat. He is so talented and I am so proud of him. Do you ever feel like everyone around you seems to be accomplishing so much? Then you look at yourself and feel a bit deflated. I know everyone tells you that you’ll find what you want to do in life when you least expect it. However, sometimes I wish I could just glance into my future and see where I’ll be in five years time.

Getting older made me think about all my first times, which I love reminiscing about. (Some obviously better than others!) My first bike ride, my first kiss, the first time I slept with someone, the first time I said ‘I love you’, my first day at sixth form… All those kind of things. You never forget or replace those first times and I like the fact that I am a feature in other people’s first times too. Sometime I wish I could go back and do those first times all over again, just to appreciate that it was the first of something.

The Sunday of summer is now here, also known as August. August usually feels like you are beginning to see the end of summer, which of course I’m quite bummed about. But you’ve still got four weeks to go, and a lot can happen in four weeks. Although, I am actually looking forward to going back to university, I need some solid structure in my life again.

How has your summer been? Accomplished much?

Take care,

B x

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Summer Reading List…

Isn’t this sunshine amazing? I can’t get enough of it! Although there is always the dilemma of what to wear, too warm for thick jeans, too cool for little summer dresses. But my Topshop, Mom jeans similar to these, but more cropped, (minus the rips, as I bought them last year in the sale!) I also wore my purple silk shirt from Zara today. Oh and of course my lovely linen tops from Whistles are so good for this warmer weather. Tied together with a statement necklace and converse.

Anyway, the point of my post today is a summer reading list, as it feels as if summer is in full swing due to the beautiful sunshine and that a lot of you are jetting off on holiday. Myself included, yipeeeeey!

1. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Dr. Maya Angelou – because of her recent death I came across some of her poetry and quotes, all of which are so raw and honest about life. You know when you read something and you’re like, “YES, you get me!” I felt like that about all nearly all of the things she so eloquently wrote. So I’m going to give her autobiography a read on holiday, it’s been rated four and a half out of five, so I’m hoping it lives up to it.

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2. The Monstrous-Feminine: Film, Feminism, Psychoanalysis (Popular Fictions Series) by Barbara Creed – the terrible events that are happening in Nigeria made me think a lot more about Feminism (I also read loads of article that the Guardian published online about it all, which fuelled my interest even more) and how far we’ve come, but still have a huge amount to over come too. One of my modules at university has been on women, gender and power, so this has fuelled me too. The Suffragettes were amazing ladies!

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3. The Philosophical Baby: What Children’s Minds Tell Us about Truth, Love & the Meaning of Life by Alison Gopnik – my sister is expecting a little bundle of joy, so I thought I’d give this book a go. I’ve always been interested in Freudian views of children and how they view the world. So this seemed to fit the bill!

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I’ll let you guys know how I get on with the books and give some reviews.

Take care,

B x

No Tomorrow, Nottingham

Things have been non-stop since the end of exams, with my internship being extremely full on, as well as working at Whistles on my days off, whilst trying to squeeze in time with my friends and family before I jet off on holiday! With this in mind, I couldn’t turn down a boozy weekend in Nottingham with my best friend, to help me forget all my responsibilities.

My best friend G goes to university in Nottingham, so invited me up for the weekend to attend the No Tomorrow festival at Wollaton Park (basically, Batman’s house!!). The car journey up was terrible, due to the torrential rain we were greeted with on the motorway. But the sun did shine for us and I even got a bit of a tan on my back. The acts were all brilliant, we watched Clean Bandit, Sam Smith and the main headliner London Grammar (who actually attended Nottingham university). All of them were excellent, I don’t think I could choose a favourite, also because they’re all such different musicians! Such a good lineup for a small, understated festival. After the performances, we headed back to the beer tent, then onto one of the other student houses and tucked into a greasy Chinese, it was well worth the calories. Day drinking meant our hangovers set in early, so we all ended up having an early night. So rock’n’roll!

The journey home on the train wasn’t too fun, but my mama had prepared an impressive BBQ, so that was my motivation to get home! The weekend consisted of lots of eating and drinking. Never good, especially when I’m going on holiday at the end of the week. But I cannot wait, sun, sea and cocktails, it couldn’t come round soon enough. Even if a bit rushed.

Here are some photos of my trip up to Nottingham and of the festival, if you’re lucky enough to hear about it next year I really recommend going, it was small, but not too small, yet the acts were massive artists, as well as being in a picturesque setting!

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Hope you’re all well and enjoying the sunny weather we’re having at the moment.

Take care,

B x

Being a real-life Intern…

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Exams are done and dusted, all that is left now is the painful wait to find out my results, which plays on my mind every now and then. Resulting in a mad panic, sweaty palms and my mother telling me to pull myself together. On a lighter note, my summer holiday is booked, only three weeks to go. My best friends are nearly all on their way home to join me and best of all I’ve started my four month internship at CATO Music, which is bloody amazing.

Let me set the scene for you – I arrive to a beautiful Georgian house just off of Upper Richmond Road, (which was owned and lived in by Mick Jagger and Jerri Hall, then it became the Rolling Stones’s recording studios!! Does it get any better than this?!) it has pink flags and black, wrought iron gates, I get buzzed in and am greeted by a very bubbly and smiley team. As an intern, I can’t tell you how rare that is, you’re usually met by a few young people, dressed to the nines, predominately females, looking you up and down there’s then a mumble of, ‘Oh yeah, hold on let me call…‘ and a shrug of the shoulders, not forgetting a huge sigh. But CATO is different, I can’t really explain what it is they actually do, they have a lot of fingers in a lot of pies in the music industry – from touring and production, to opening their own music academy for young people. This was one of the main reasons I was so attracted to them! I’m so excited to learn and however cliché it sounds, develop here, in a personal way and hopefully in terms of a career. 

So, my first day – Queen are in the recording studio next to me (I can hear Brain May as I type) and Amy MacDonald is in the other studio CATO own down the road. Now, I know it all sounds glamorous, fast-paced and , don’t get me wrong it is both of those things and more. But as an intern be prepared to get your hands dirty, literally, from making cups of tea, filing, to emptying bins. Say yes to every task, no matter how boring or small. Short term pain, long term gain! You learn a lot from everything, and from everyone around you. Anyway, enough with the lecture. 

So, what did I wear? Because it is the arts industry, I’m not required to wear anything too fancy, smart/causal is the general consensus. I opted for, my Jamie black skinny jeans from Topshop, a black Victorian-esq shirt from Zara, my camel waterfall coat from Oasis, Alexander McQueen scarf and a pair of converse. I completely forgot to take some photos, so will ensure I take some photos of my outfit for my style diary over the course of five months. 

Hope exams are or have gone well if you have any. 

Take care,

B x

An Evening with Van Gogh

I am lucky enough to have a group of close friends, which have, or are going into, an array of exciting and unconventional careers. Monday evening was a prime example of their crazy lives. I was invited to an exhibition at Gallery 8, on Duke Street in Saint James, London. Now, for those of you that have never ventured down Duke Street, it is an art connoisseur’s dream! Stacks of galleries, art history book stores, sculptures, exhibitions etc. all in one dreamy place.

I met my friends first of all at Aprés bar opposite Selfridges, we probably sounded like a group of hens to everyone else around us, as we hadn’t seen each other for a few months. Therefore, had A LOT of catching up to do. After all the excitement we then jumped into a taxi and were on our way. After one last spurt of perfume, we made our way inside to view the stunning, abstract artwork. It was a lovely evening, bumping into people I hadn’t seen for years. The exhibition was one I really recommend going to see, even just to experience some unusual, creativity, which is influenced by Van Gogh.

After the display, 30 of us went to Matsuri in Saint James for dinner, which was to die for. If you love Japanese food, you cannot beat it. However, the bill was not a pretty sight, one I shall be paying for, for the rest of the month. But it was so worth it, the sushi platter is delicious and you get to watch the Michelin star chefs cook on the hotplate in front of you. Remember to take your camera as you’ll definitely be in awe of some of their tricks or even be able to help them cook.

The main reason for my post was my outfit for the evening, which I want to share with you guys. The dress-code was smart/casual – which is one of the most difficult dress-codes to dress for. So, I opted for…

My new black, jumpsuit from Whistles. It is one of the comfiest outfits, it’s smart, but something you can dress up and down. Another reason why I love it is because I have quite a large bust, so I’m always weary of strapless clothing. But it is made of high quality fabric so, is very secure and shows off an hourglass figure perfectly. I dressed it down with my leather jacket, also from Whistles, as I didn’t want to be too dressy. I recently bought some white, block heel sandals from Zara, which really rubbed my toes but they looked cute. No pain, no gain and all. To tie it all together I used my white-croc-clutch bag again, from Whistles to match in with my white shoes. Then to finish off the outfit I wore minimal jewellery, my B necklace, watch from Georg Jenson and McQueen cuff. Here are some of my photos of what it all looked like. (Sorry, I didn’t take a photograph of the outfit together, I was in such a rush and almost missed my train!)

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This weather is gorgeous at the moment, but is distracting me so much from university assignments and revision. It seems my mind has gone into summer mode when I’m not quite there yet. Only five weeks left of second year, then I’m free until September, how time flies!! Are you all enjoying the sun?

Hope you had a great week and are enjoying a relaxing Easter weekend eating an absurd amount of chocolate eggs.

B x

PS. excuse the messy room in the photograph!