Everything happens for a reason, right?

“Everything happens for a reason” is one of the most overused phrases in the universe, I’m quite sure. 90% of the people that use it are women, 91% of them are saying it to one of their friends about a guy who has just screwed them over. And 99% of the time it’s being said over a bottle of sauvignon blanc. Am I right? Or am I right?

Yes, I know that’s a huge generalisation, but you get my point. I am kind of contradicting myself as in another one of my blog posts I did write that I believe everything happens for a reason. And I do still sort of agree with my statement. But why does it always seem to be women saying it to each other? The more I experience relationships whether they be my own or through friends or through earwigging females discussing their love lives, the more I realise there is a pattern emerging. So, do we just tell our friends things happen for a reason to make them feel better?  Does it actually make us feel better about ourselves? Do we actually believe what we’re saying?  Personally, I do think things have to fall apart or grow in order for you to see the light, whether it be good or bad. You can’t experience the good without the bad, so it’s the same sort of principle isn’t it? It does make me feel better about myself and usually my rejection by taking solace in the fact that better things are ahead, surely. But it doesn’t take away the what’s wrong with me? I have an excellent personality, why wouldn’t you want to be with me?, mind set.

Just last weekend I was sat in Bills waiting for one of my best friends to arrive for our brunch date, when I was listening to a group of girls discussing last week’s drama. James hadn’t called or messaged Emily back, but had been online on whatsapp and Facebook. Emily was clearly very upset at the fact he hadn’t contacted her. However, as one of her friends said, maybe he’s been busy, maybe he forgot he hadn’t replied, or maybe he’s just not into you? Her other friend came in with the classic line of – maybe it’s just not meant to be!?  I smiled to myself and had severe déjà vu, why are women so bad a letting go, but men seem to slip out the back door without even saying goodbye? Things aren’t meant to last forever, so maybe we invented this way of looking at life to help us let go of things, even if we’re not ready to let go. This notion doesn’t just apply to our love lives but also job opportunities and waiting to buy a top in the Zara sale; if it’s meant to be that blouse will still be there.

As my home girl, Carrie Bradshaw said – “Eventually all the pieces fall into place, until then laugh at the confusion, live for the moment me know everything happens for a reason.” 

So next time you feel rejected or disappointed about an outcome, remember you are the prize and everything is a lesson. In the meantime, pour yourself a large Hendrix and tonic and call your girlfriends to arrange a dinner date to mill over the situation.

On another note, I’ve finished university! I cannot believe it. The longest, yet shortest three years of my life. My dissertation goes in next week and then I’m officially a free woman, bar one assignment in for the end of May. On to the next chapter, I wonder what’s in store…

I hope you’re well and have been enjoying the glorious springtime sunshine. I love springtime!

Take care,

B x

 

 

 

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It’s that time of the year again!

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2014 has been one of the most interesting, stressful and exciting years so far. It’s taught me a lot, some good, some bad. But I thought I’d share with you guys what I’ve learnt.

1. You can’t plan your future, it’s really not that simple. No matter how much you try to create a schedule or time frame, life doesn’t work that way. ‘Next summer I’m going to go to W with X, while still being best friends with Y, oh and I’m going to get a job at Z.’ Everyone is hopeful and don’t get me wrong I’d love nothing more than to have a plan that I can stick to. However, 2014 has made me realise life goes on, yes something may not be what you necessarily wanted. But it has encouraged me to think on my feet and be excited for the future, because I know it’s going to be great. Whatever happens.

2. Make peace with the past. If you don’t it’ll be like an anchor and just bring you down. Don’t let it disturb your present or your future. Time is the best healer, honestly.

3. Friends come and go. But it is the people that are there for you day in and day out that are going to be there long term. Make sure you appreciate them, tell them you love them, thank them, there are thousands of ways to tell and show someone you love them.

4. Being a best friend is one of the most wonderful things in the world. I don’t think that needs anymore explanation.

5. Being an aunty is SO underrated. I love my family, as dysfunctional as they are, I wouldn’t change them for the world.

6. I love travelling and need to do more of it. New York was dreamy, it has spurred on my love of cities.

7. Write a journal, or carry around a notebook. I have one in my bag at all times, if I hear a funny quote or a see a restaurant I want to visit at a later date I write it all down. It’s a nice memo if nothing else.

8. Indulge. Maybe I do this a little too much with clothes and shoes, but you earned it!

9. One text goes a long way. Whether it’s rekindling a relationship, friendship or telling someone you’re there for them. It makes a big difference.

10. Don’t waste time reading rubbish books just to say you’ve read it.

I wish you all a very happy New Year, and I hope you bring in 2015 as you mean to go on. Are you doing anything special?

Take care,

B x